The diagnosis sucks and I don’t know exactly how we are all going to deal with this, but I know YOU will, and WE all will, but for now just know that you are surrounded by love”. And one that you mentioned. Marie – you covered this sensitive topic so nicely, thanks. Since then I have connected with many bushfire affected communities and individuals that have lost their homes in a variety of circumstances through my passion project ‘Suddenly Homeless’. Please don’t say this to someone, our life is completely different then what it was and we don’t know how to deal with it. This post couldn’t have come at a better time. Charlotte, I’m so sorry to hear about the immense load you’ve been carrying, and how alone you’ve been feeling as people around you disappeared. I, and other atheists I know, don’t find that phrase helpful. My teachers had told the class not to mention it to me – even to my seven year old self that seemed so odd! Very true, Marlin! – Gifts. But this is a good reminder to keep reaching out. That allowed me to talk about the sweet, good things that I remembered. I also struggled through infertility and some of the toughest comments from people were: What I just figured out while reading it, is that the facts questions are so very disturbing, because they imply: “Why worry, if the finances are covered and your husband is well again? Thank you so much, Catarina. It had happened a few years before I was born so I don’t know and I cannot imagine what she had been going through. During your most worst time in ones life is having to face the lose of a love one. Thanks Marie! Be kind enough to not force your presence on someone who really does need that alone time. When I do manage to ask, I’m often rebuked in one way or another with various versions of “but that was 2 years ago! Compassion is shown in action. Suffering can be lessened by the ones who bravely open to the possibility that grief calls us to be fully human. Love them. As usual you have shared with us very useful information that helps us in those situations where we wonder what the heck to do or say. Today, however, she lies in a bed with oxygen, can barely get up to go to the bathroom. It seems like we hate vacuums in life, so when there’s a lull in the conversation, some of us feel a need to fill the void with conversation. And reach out months afterwards. It’s like to homeless man dirty standing on the corner as we drive by we HOPE, someone will feed him, then get going because he wasn’t scheduled into our day. The stories were essential to my own well-being. But there was something else I got that was worse than that. Sometimes grief comes with this feeling of being a heavy burden on everybody else. When both positive, no-one cared about what this meant for us other than money. She replied and said she got waves of goosebumps and it felt that she was completely surrounded by love. I wasn’t expecting a reply back so this just made my day. When you don’t understand the situation, and you cannot empathize let cards speak words for you. Let them set the boundaries of need and comfort. Unexpected Advice For Sensitive Souls, 4 Steps to Overcome a Devastating Setback w/ Dr. Cathy Collautt, https://polishedprofessionals.ca/how-to-help-friends-in-grief/. To lose a life partner is one of lifeâs most excruciating moments of pain and distress, and only words of comfort can be their solace at such time. Meeting the person where they are is spot on. I’m looking for help with a situation: A few months ago a child died tragically in an accident. Just the act of kindness, wanting to serve will make all the sadness replace me the bond you have with the type of friends you have. This is great, Marie. 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